the boyfriends guild to twilight

ok guys i have been forced to sit and listen to the endless twilightmaina for months now so here i will give you the basics of what you need to know about this book series,

First you have "Bella" the main female who is just a loner in a new town of like... 200 cuz her mom is all about herself and wants to go to florida with the new man cuz he is a big minor leage baseball player yay . she moves in with her dad who is the law in podunk where on an average day the worse thing that happens is some one trips a 2nd grader, he is also a loner who doesnt really know how to deal with anything so he just leaves it alone

Second we have the main male, name is "Edward Cullen" he is a moody vampire who is drug problem skinny and pale like he plays in his moms make-up. since he is so distant from all other school kids he is"hot" dont get it , his hair looks dirty to me, like it hasnt been washed in weeks but thats me. he is a vampire who apperently why vampires dont go in the sunlight is becuz they sparkle like fruity rhinstone covered Mango's. *shacks head* sounds out there to me but whatever, he has a "family" named the Cullens who are vampires he lives with in a house that looks like some rich ass doctor got board and made it, oh wait his "father" is a vampire doctor, apperently he must only work the night shift.

then there is the second main male.. name is jacob,he is an indian who apperenly is a shapeshifter or something like that and from what i am told he is a whine bitch though the whole thing and just wants bella to have his puppies, and to stay away from the evil evil cullens becuase they do.... nothin actually. they just act like any other burb family